Life Balance

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(27 Mei 2014/ 27 Rajab 1435 H)

2012 and 2013 must be the worst year ever. I remember clearly about that year, How hard I try to go abroad but failed. I tried to apply student exchange to USA. I can’t tell you how worst the day I had since I didn’t received the letter of notification that told me I was accepted to that program. I took 1 year to study there. I remember how hard I try…. I remember I pray to my Lord.. I remember everything. I thought I was so stupid since they never gave me any accepted notification. You know, I make a passport, TOEFL ITP test, then looking for reference to 2 lecturers and one of my teacher in high school. I did many things. Then the notification that I waited for has never came yet. I cried a lot like crazy people who was waiting for her boy friend or like Romeo cried for Juliet. No body knows how sad I was. I remember I cried to Pusat Bahasa Unram – and forced them to conduct the TOEFL ITP test every time, but the TOEFL ITP couldn’t be done if the capacity of people less than 12. I try every time until then they allowed the TOEFL ITP to be conducted. Then, when the test had been conducted, I waited for the result. I went to the Pusat Bahasa cried a lot to my lecturer force them to gave me the test result. I remember what they said. It was day minus 1 of the deadline. I almost failed then I tied a lot. Alhamdulillah In 30 November- I sent the application with my friend- Devi. Then the day after sent the letter got worst. I cried because there was no notification I got. It felt like I was dying….. Today …. I got something…..


This morning I take a walk jut to ask about the wall clip of my photo outside my house. I of my far neighbor called me and ask me, “Does your name is Era Komalasari?”

“Oh yes… what’s goin’ on?”, I said

“There was a post man last day ask about your name. But I don’t know if your first name is Era (She just know if my name is Mala because everybody in my home call me Mala – not Fera). He said you get a job. “

“Oh, actually yes, it was a NPWP number, a Tax card.”

“I didn’t know if your name is Era. It means that you should look for that card in post office. Years a go a postman asked the same thing- You got a letter from London and looking for you- He asked Fera Komalasari. I don’t have a child named Era, because my child name is Mala and now she’s in Denpasar. I have any friend from London neither “

“Seriously? My name Is Fera. Oh God. It was the notification from USA. I almost crazy waiting for that notification. Why He didn’t look for me till he found me? It was the most important letter in my life and I’ve been waiting for that letter till today. I cried a lot, so many days because of that. Oh God.”


“If it is so, then why didn’t you write the famous name here- Gang Modes Yeni for instance then the postman will send it there and you’ll get it”, They suggest.



I can’t talk. IT WAS THE ACCEPTED NOTIFICATION. They I told my mom after home. She said why the postman didn’t look for the RT’s home?….. What had he done?

Should I say something better? They promise would send me a letter if I had accepted in that program. Then I failed got that letter because of my nick name in home is MALA. THE THE POSTMAN hard to find me because my first name is FERA- NOT MALA. If I have a new home one day, I will never use name- MALA- but FERA so that the postman easily can find me.

Yaa Allah.. you know how hard I tried, I was accepted actually. I was one of 30 selected participants that should get the second selection. IF THE POSTMAN COULD FIND ME AT THAT YEAR, I WOULD BE IN NEW YORK IN 2013. Ya Allah… please CHANGE it to be something better-I want to be there Ya Allah…. I want. For postman wherever you are…. You should find me if it’s on other occasion because it’s about DREAM. Didn’t you know if it’s important for the people you look for?

My mother said, ” That’s not you fortune….. You may get something better from your Lord one day. “

AMERICA…. I LOVE YOU…. Give me more opportunities to go there.


2 Komentar

  1. efrisamdong1 berkata:

    yang sabar ya…… mudahan saya duluan kesana hahahaha…. tp Kasi kita kan gak kuat dingin, berembe mele jok USA no??????????

  2. ferakomalasari berkata:

    Aamiin… smoga sy bisa sekolah kesana. 🙂
    Kan ada cewiterrrr dan mantel bro. Kaos kaki dan sarung tangan juga banyak yg jual kok dipasar loak… hahahah 😀

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